Days 6 & 7 of Treatment

Well...how do I describe the feeling of relief and simultaneous defeat when your herxheimer reactions decrease but your overall health still sucks?  Well, it sucks.  For now, I think the absolute worst is over.  The first 5 days were pretty severe pain, and at times crippling and debilitating.  I was beside myself not knowing how long I could deal and how long it would go on.

Yesterday and today were less severe, but are still much worse than I was before I started treatment.  Before treatment, different parts of my body would hurt at different times, for periods in a day.  Now, most of my body hurts all day, and more acutely.  But, I am relieved that I am no longer bedridden.  

My knees remain the biggest victim so far.  Interestingly enough, I can trace the beginning of my lyme infection to when I was 13 and my knees were the first thing to go.  I was hastily diagnosed as having PFS, or Patella Femoral Syndrome, and given steroid shots in my knees because they hurt so badly.  So, now that my knees are the worst pain in my body, I theorize that this proves the lyme has been there the longest and is deeply imbedded in the joints and tissues there.

Other odd parts of my body that never hurt acutely before are hurting now.  Different joints in my fingers, my elbows, and parts of my toes.  Other more familiar pains are in my hips and back and neck and ankles, but all more acutely than usual.

I tried to slow down the ibrofen because I worry about what is happening to my insides at the pace of 3200-4000 mg a day, but I paid the price in its absence.  I wish there was something else I could take to alternate, but the Plaquenil prohibits any tylonel.  

I attended a lyme support group meeting tonight, which is actually a little depressing.  While I enjoy being around those who are in the same boat, I also feel more hopeless when I hear everyone's stories.  I feel bad for saying it, since I have a need to tell my story too, but hearing and/or reading stories about people's experiences with lyme devastates me, depletes me even.  Even stories of recovery offer little in the way of guidance since no two people respond the same way to treatment.  I guess I am in a negative place right now.